"76 year old female, dizzy spells"
There is one thing that never ceases to amaze me in this job and that is the characters that I meet. Sure, there are idiots in the world; there are also time wasters, hypochondriacs, grumpy people, angry people, rude people and ill people, but there are just as many people that make my day. They may not be ill, they may not necessarily need an ambulance, but they are polite, funny and interesting. I had spent the morning with the aforementioned idiots; every single patient I had seen had been rude, ignorant and a complete drain on resources. I needed a pensioner to cheer me up. I think it's a generation thing. Their generation was formed on respect. They are more often than not happy to see you, grateful for your presence and forever apologising for wasting our time. Over and over again I tell them they are not and it is an absolute pleasure to be with them.
We arrived at the house, let ourselves in via the key safe and shouted the usual 'hello, ambulance' as we entered. Our patient was sitting in her armchair, the broadest of smiles met us as we approached. To say she had a wacky outfit would be an understatement. She was wearing a green skirt with pink and white polka-dot tights underneath. On top she had a Mickey Mouse t-shirt and a purple suit jacket with shoulder pads. Her glasses were similar to that of Dame Edna Everage and her hair was a pale yellow, styled like GI Jane! I started asking the usual questions to ascertain what was wrong with her but she quickly changed the subject:
"Do you like my outfit?"
"It's certainly a lot more fun than mine!"
"There is no point in being boring is there?!"
"This is very true!"
"My daughter hates it, she is embarrassed to take me out! What a prude"
"I'll take you out then!"
"I'll hold you to that! I was so fed up of my clothes being boring, you see of these fashion sorts on the box, there are no rules saying that just because you are old you can't wear what you want"
"Very true, why the hell not eh?!"
"When my husband died I decided I would never look like a bore again, so I wear what I want when I want."
"Good for you!"
She pointed at the wall opposite and told us to have a read. On the wall, in a frame was a poem by Jenny Joseph. She told us that she read it, loved it and has lived by it ever since. We both stood and starred:
When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple
When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
As I turned back around to her she said:
"I've been practicing, now i'm a master of it! If you don't like me in purple, tough!"
This is why I love my job. You just wouldn't meet people like this stuck in an office. She wasn't that ill, she'd had a couple of dizzy spells and had called NHS direct. She didn't want to go to hospital so we referred her to her GP. Obviously that had to be done over tea and biscuits. She was an incredibly proud woman; proud of her appearance and proud of her home. Her look may not be everyone's cup of tea but it doesn't have to be. This was her time to rebel against the norm and 'step away from the mundane' and she was doing so in style and with a smile. As she said, 'two fingers up to anyone who poo poos me'! Priceless!