The Nation's Health + Paramedic

Keep On Running

"22 year old male, severe pain in legs, unable to stand"

To say I was sceptical would be an understatement. 22 year olds, generally speaking, don't spontaneously lose the ability to walk. 82? Maybe. 22? Not a chance. There was no other information to go on so we'd have to wait until we arrived to in what critical condition the invalid was in. My crew mate was less than impressed with the presenting complaint. He had run the London Marathon the day before but had forgotten to book annual leave. His legs hurt but he'd dragged himself into work knowing there was a distinct possibility his tired legs would have to carry people down stairs. He was however, content in the knowledge that this patient would not be carried anywhere!

We arrived in middle class suburbia, new build after new build, mid range hatchbacks on every drive way and headed to the front door. A woman opened the door. She pointed up the stair case in quite an abrasive manor.

"He's up there." she said.

Up we went. My crew mate didn't seem overly impressed at having to negotiate 13 stairs! One door on the landing was open so that's where I headed. Lying on the bed, topless and wearing just his boxers was our patient. He had a pained expression on his face like he was in a Greek tragedy. I wasn't buying it.

"Hello Sir, what's the problem today?"

"The pain, the pain in my legs is just too much, I can't even stand."

"Where exactly is the pain?"

"All over."

"And what pain killers have you taken?"

"None"

*Facepalm*

"And why not?"

"Because the pain is too much, they won't help."

"Is this a new pain today? What's caused it?"

"I woke up with it."

"And have you done anything that could have caused it?"

"Yeah, I ran the marathon yesterday."

*Double Facepalm*

I stepped back and allowed my crew mate to take over. Not because I had nothing to say, but he had much more to say!

"I ran the marathon yesterday, and I'm at work today. You ran 26 miles. Your legs will hurt. Take anti-inflammatories, take pain killers, have a massage! Pain is normal!"

He really was getting quite animated! I was loving it. The patients mum appeared in the door. I assume she'd been listening in!

"I told you. I told you not to waste their time. When will you grow up and start acting like an adult?"

YEAH! What she said!

"So, what do you want to do today?"

"Erm....go to hospital." he said in the most sarcastic of voices.

"You don't need to go to hospital. They will tell you that you have just run a marathon and should go and take pain killers."

"You lot are all the same. Just lazy. That's what the last ambulance said to me. You're idiots man."

"You've already had an ambulance today?"

"Yeah, about an hour ago" his mum said.

*Triple facepalm*

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