The Nation's Health + [NHS]

You've Been Framed

"34 year old male, head injury"

In general, I'd say most people take at least some degree of pleasure out of other people's misfortune. I'm not suggesting we are all sick and twisted or even nasty, but who can honestly say that they don't?! You see someone stumble or trip over, you smile! You see someone spill a drink on their crotch, you smile! Almost everyone has at some time or another, watched 'You've Been Framed' and laughed at the misfortune and calamities that strangers experience! It's great! What's not to enjoy about seeing someone stand on a chair, the chair collapse and the person falling and stumbling and knocking over the TV! Maybe we are a sick and twisted bunch after all! Needless to say, I am blessed to see the results of said mishaps and occasionally I allow myself to laugh! Sue me!

The job appeared on the screen and off we went. It was a gorgeous day and we were heading to a golf course. The exact location was the 1st Tee! We pulled up to the club house and were met by a groundsman who kindly drove us, and our bags, to the patient on a golf buggy! At the 1st Tee was a large group of people and sitting on the floor amongst them was our patient.

I could see immediately the HUGE lump on his forehead, it was like an orange! The patient was very well dressed, covered in designer labels, fake tan and expensive looking jewellery. I introduced myself and he immediately tried to cover up his obvious concussion with bravado! I'm assuming he didn't want to lose face with the crowd! He was an Essex boy and I'm guessing from the way he was talking, he was one of the alpha males!

"So what happened?!"

"It's nothing guv, I was just hit with a ball."

"Did you lose consciousness?"

"No, don't think so."

"He did." said one of the guys in the group.

"How long for?"

"About a minute, maybe two."

He then went on to explain EXACTLY what happened!

It turns out that Mr Essex was on a business trip and was taking a number of his clients on a corporate golf day. According to his colleague he also fancies himself as a bit of a golfer. He certainly had all the gear and some very expensive looking clubs! Anyway, being the host he decided to tee off first. He put the ball down, did a few practice swings, addressed the ball and 'shanked' it! The ball flew off towards the trees about 10 metres away to the left, hit a tree and came straight back him. It hit him between the eyes, after smashing his Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses on the way through! Amazing!

I laughed. Out loud. So did everyone else!

"Aren't you paramedics supposed to be sympathetic?!" he said, as I laughed!

"We are, but you've knocked yourself out by hitting yourself in the face with your own golf ball! That's made my day!"

"Bitch!"

I let him have that one!

There was a small cut on the top of the bump so we put a dressing on it. Despite his resisting, we convinced him to come to hospital. I continued to mock him mercilessly which he took in good spirit!

I'm sure some people will tell me it's morally wrong to laugh at a patients misfortune. I'm sure I'll get a comment about being unprofessional, blah blah blah! It was funny! We laughed. He laughed. He got good treatment. The end!