- You find humour in other people's stupidity
- You believe than 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm
- Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you
- Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you sit down to eat
- You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nice restaurants.
- Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers
- You believe chocolate is a food group
- You refer to vegetables and are not talking about a food group
- You believe a micropore tape job will fix anything
- You have the bladder capacity of five people
- Your idea of a good time is a traumatic cardiac arrest
- You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac
- You have your weekends off planned in advance
- You believe that 'shallow gene pool' should be a recognised diagnosis
- You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce
- You believe that "Ask-a-Nurse" is an evil plot thought up by Satan
- You believe that having an ambulance at a "Health Fair" was his next idea
- You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the say "Wow, it's really quiet" is uttered
- You threaten to strangle anyone who even starts to say the "q" word when it is even remotely calm
- You take it as a compliment when someone calls you dirty name
- You think to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers
- You refer to someone in severe respiratory distress as a "smurf"
- You have ever wanted to hold a lecture entitled "Suicide...Doing It Right"
- You feel that most suicide attempts should be given a free subscription to "Guns and Ammo" magazine
- You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis
- You have ever had to leave a patients room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably
- Your favourite hallucinogen is exhaustion
- You think that caffeine should be available in I.V. form
- You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain...
- You believe that waiting room time should be proportional to length of time from symptom onset
- Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency?”
- Your feet are slightly flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone's...
- Your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the garden
- You've been chipping away at your Bachelors Degree for longer than most people take for a Doctorate...
- You might be an EMS professional if you find any of this funny!
This is not my own work but I related to it so thought i'd share it. I gathered them from various lists on the t'interweb.