Working for the ambulance service I get the opportunity to see all parts of society at its best and its worst. I see some truly amazing people but also some truly despicable people. Being an ageing population we are seeing more and more of the elderly and that's not going to change. What amazes me most of the time, is how vehemently independent they are, in comparison to how totally unable to cope our younger generation is. Last night I did two jobs that summed this up. Two patients who were both perfectly pleasant but showed exactly what has happened to society in just 60 years and the stark differences in character and ideals that have emerged.
"26 year old male, ? broken ankle"
We were called to a sports hall. When we arrived, the caretaker (who acted like our presence was really putting him out) showed us to the hall. Everyone in there was still playing football, but one paused to point us into the changing room. Inside, lying a the bench, moaning in agony like he had been shot was our patient. He pointed at his ankle and told us it was broken. That information was given to a backdrop of 'bruvs' 'truss' 'ya get me' and 'innit'. That is how people talk now, I didn't hold it against him for a change, the manners were not omitted. What was amusing is that it clearly wasn't broken.
It was slightly swollen but no bruising or abrasions and certainly not at a funny angle! He had full sensation and full movement (despite the tears) and the way he described the injury, it was most likely a sprain. Still, an x-ray would confirm! The charade of being shot continued and for this I blame the footballers: the play-acting wimps that throw themselves on the floor and cry at the hint of being touched. These are the role models that kids are growing up learning from. You only have to have seen 'BallBoygate' to know what I mean! There is no pain threshold, there is huge overreaction and absolutely no sense of shame in doing so. His first thought was to call an ambulance, not a relative or taxi. This is because that's what you do these days, innit!
We got him onto the bed, because when I tried to get him of hobble with my assistance he wailed! Once on the ambulance I cannulated him because the Entonox didn't agree with him. I gave him morphine, mainly to give me some peace and quiet, but also because he gave a pain score of 10/10. He stuck to this despite me asking if it was the worst pain imaginable. He said it was and even said it was worse than my suggestion of having his arm ripped off by a bear. I refuse to believe any pain score of 10/10 because we all know there is no worse pain than stubbing your toe! Anyway, once the morphine was given we got on our way.
En route to hospital I was doing paperwork and our patient was regaling his tales of heroism to what appeared to be everyone he has ever met. And he was really hamming it up. 'Bruvs' this and 'bruvs' that. He was telling everyone he'd broken his ankle and may need an operation. He made it clear he wouldn't be allowed to work for at least 6 weeks and was basically going to be crippled. It was also the end of his footballing career! Apparently his body couldn't take it anymore. Just for the record, he was an estate agent and this 'football career' was an indoor 5-a-side kick about on Friday evenings! Soooo melodramatic!
We got to hospital and the play acting continued. His entire family, extended family and friends were waiting for him. He thanked us for helping him with a well placed 'Safe yeah', which I understand is a gesture of appreciation and we left him to it!
Three hours later, and back at the same hospital and there he was limping around having got zero sympathy from the nurses!
"Is it broken?"
"Nah, just a sprain, a lucky lucky escape innit."
"96 year old female, fall, head injury"
In stark contrast to our footballing hero, this patient met us at the door....ish! Well, she was lying on floor but had crawled from the stairs and been able to lift herself up enough to let us in. There she was, beaming smile, lying on the floor. The was blood in her hair and she was holding her arm. It turns out it wasn't just a fall, it was a fall down the stairs. Top to bottom with a somersault and half twist on the way down. The first thing she said to us was 'so sorry to have to bothered you'.
Under normal circumstances she would have been collared and boarded and fully immobilised. Unfortunately, we couldn't because a) should had severe spinal curvature and b) she wouldn't let us. In fact, she was quite insistent that we got her up off the floor immediately. I checked her neck before letting her get up and there wasn't any pain or obvious injury. Once up, we dressed the injury on her head and put her broken arm in a sling. My crew mate got the chair.
"What's that for?"
"You need to go to hospital my dear!"
"Do I have to?"
"I'm afraid so, you've had a big fall and you've broken your arm."
"Ok, but I need to go to the loo and pack a bag."
With that, she shot off up the stairs despite all my attempts to stop her! She packed a bag without any difficulty despite only having one arm at her disposal. All the while, she was apologising for being an inconvenience. She spoke very eloquently, no use of 'bruvs' or 'innit'. It was the way I was raised to speak too. I simply don't understand this new language that people speak. It really does leave me in despair when I hear the ridiculous voices that the younger generation are using. And what worries me more is that they are breeding now! Where will this lead?! Will the Prime Minister in 2065 address the nation by saying 'Yes yes me rude boyz, safe'?!
After much fussing and packing she had everything she could possibly have need. Notes were left for her cleaner, her gardener and the milkman. The lights were switched off, as was the heating and we got her to the ambulance.
"I'm so sorry to be wasting your time."
As we arrived at hospital, the 'footballer' was getting into a car. I thought of the dying swan act he put on and then wondered how he'd have behaved if he'd fallen down the stairs and broken a bone! I dread to think. We wheeled our patient inside, smile still spread across her face, and handed her over to the nurse. We left to a chorus of thanks and appreciation.
There really is a huge void between generations. I know the elderly generally don't feel pain as much but they are made of stronger stuff. They respect society and society respects them. They hail from the days where respect meant something and where getting help was truly appreciated. The younger generation have been spoon fed throughout childhood, spoilt rotten and taught that services in this country are their right. The first patient wasn't a bad person and in his own way, was polite to us, but the gulf in generations was painfully obvious.