The Nation's Health + Paramedic

Keeping Up Appearances

"48 year old female, (ironic) chip on her shoulder"

Q. What do cars need to run on?

A. Fuel & Water. Right?! Run out of fuel and they stop. Run out of water and they overheat and eventually stop.

Q. What do humans need to run on?

A. Fuel & Water. Right? Run out of fuel and they stop. Run out of water and they overheat and eventually stop?

Q. What do you do if the petrol light appears on your dash board?

A. Refuel right?

Q. What do you do if you're hungry?

A. Refuel right?

OK, science lesson over kids! Our petrol light was on. We didn't have enough fuel in the tank to safely do another job so were shown 'unavailable' to go an refuel. It was 5:30pm. I'd been at work since 6:30am. I had not had a break. I had not had a hot meal for almost 24 hours. The venting machine at the local hospital was out of order. Petrol stations sell sandwiches. I needed a sandwich. My headache also told me I probably needed something to drink too! As gin is frowned upon whilst on duty some Ribena would have to do! As luck would have it, in the petrol station they do a meal deal where I can get a sandwich, crisps and a drink and save 19p off the total price! Win!

I parked up on the forecourt and stuck £101.01 in the tank. Wow, we were low! I headed into the shop, grabbed my BLT, a pack of steak McCoy's and my Ribena light (yes, I'm watching my weight and 'light' makes all the difference). I joined the queue. Eventually I got to the front and first of all paid for the fuel with my fuel card. I then started to pay for my lunch / dinner combo when I was interrupted by a woman behind me.

She was late 40s early 50s, wearing some kind of ill fitting business suit and blouse. It looked like she'd had a team of 10 people shoe horn her into it. One of her chins hung well below the neck line of the blouse and she was wearing a grotesque broach. Her hair was a big curly think, clearly dyed and badly. There was a tell tell stain across her hair line. She also looked and spoke like she was sucking a lemon.

"Ha, so this is where the tax payers money is going then?!" she said with an arrogant smirk.

"I'm paying for this myself, is that OK with you?"

"I'm not talking about WHAT you are buying, it's the fact there are people out there waiting for an ambulance and you're in here only concerned with feeding yourself."

"I beg your pardon?!" I said in utter disbelief.

"See, that's the best you can say while you think of a way to justify yourself."

"The ambulance needs petrol and we are entitled to eat you know!"

"Don't waste your breathe, I know your type, carry on, stomachs to feed."

Was this really happening?! Is this what people think?! Was getting a sandwich really that unreasonable?!

"Do you not eat whilst you're at work?"

"Of course I do, but I don't risk lives in the process, I don't know how your lot sleep at night. No wonder the NHS is in crisis. To think my tax is being wasted on you."

"I also pay tax."

"Hurry up, you're boring me now, run along with your lunch."


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